dichotomy

A comment by a fellow TCK (third culture kid) recently on facebook reminded me of a dichotomy I have felt for some time. I think that many children that have grown up moving around can relate. The dichotomy is as follows: 1. Since my childhood was relatively "unstable" I want to establish roots in one place and live there for the rest of my life. 2. I don't think I can stay in one place for more than a couple years or I will go crazy! I so have my prefences on the topic, but God is ultimately the one who chooses.

In high school and through most of college, I was convinced that all I wanted was one home. One place to come back to. One church, one job, same friends, etc. I longed for stability. This was understandable. I left the home I knew, my school, my church, my friends, and my siblings. After a few years I returned to my "home" country not thinking I would live there again. This did not bother me. The following four years consisted of living in the dorm room during school and any available home with a job in close proximity. I was tired of starting over in each town I went. I was tired of getting accustomed to new house rules and norms. I wanted something that was mine.

For the past several years, I feel claustrophobic if I do not leave the [current] country after being there a year (or maybe less). In Peru, after a year I had to leave the country on some type of trip. The country was closing in on me. After two and a half years of living there, I felt some time in the US with my family would do me some good. Being in the United States has made this worse. I moved back in February and left in May. A few months have passed, and I am ready to leave again. There exist few Latin American countries that I have not visited, so my traveling desires have expanded. Next summer I travel to Europe. I want to see it all as well as parts of Africa.

One desire has not changed over the past several years, however; the desire to not live in the United States. I believe that I could live contently in Lima for a long period of time, if not the rest of my life. I would need to travel sporadically to feed the insatiable desire to travel internationally. I do realize that whatever place or circumstance God puts me in, He will help me and sustain me. I must always remember that my citizenship is in heaven. This world is only my temporary home.