If there were such a thing as a moving complex, I would have it. Common symptoms would include weeks of fatigue after international moves, the suffocating feeling when in the same country for over a year, the inability to completely unpack in your new location, the failure to decorate the new living quarters, and the exciting yet scary and tiresome task of finding a job and meeting new friends. The last of these manifestations will be the prime focus of my discourse.
My first move was to Lima, Peru in 2000. I had attended the same school district for my whole life up until this point; I had many friends and a happy, energetic disposition. The move to a new country with a new culture and language and a new school proved quite unfavorable to my newly forming identity in many ways. One of which would alter my social abilities for the next 6 years; I became shy.
Because of my low comprehension level in Spanish, the unwelcoming behavior of the members at my church, and my newly acquired attribute of reticence, I did not make any meaningful relationships with Peruvians. Fortunately, God gave me a talkative, lively friend, Lisa, at my American school, and many lovely friends from my youth group my last year in high school.
Going to college, where I did not know anyone, proved to be one of the most difficult transitions in my life. Fear of the unknown enveloped me like the tangled mass of blankets surrounding me on a cold, lazy January morning. I did not want to go to college. I did not want to have to meet people.
After a few weeks at school, I found other third culture kids and spent time with them. It was not long, however, until I started dating a crazy, outgoing missionary kid (mk). I felt like I had all I needed and did not have to try anymore to make or maintain friendships. I had him. My dependence on him was detrimental to my social and emotional health and ultimately caused the termination of the relationship.
At the time of the conclusion of the relationship, I inhabited a small town home in the distingue city of Buenos Aires. My social skills here reached its all time low. Because of my emotional state, I had not the ability nor the desire to put forth the effort to make friends. It was too hard; the people too cold.
The dread continued as I had to return to my friendless school in the US. Fortunately, a new roommate (a childhood friend) and supernatural help from God aided in the path of making new friends.
Little by little I gained more confidence and felt more like my true self. During my last semester of college, I had a large group of friends and enjoyed the best social period of my life to this day.
After college I returned to Lima for lack of knowledge as to what I wanted for my life. My confidence grew leaps and bounds as I independently made a life for myself in Lima. Although I became notably sociable, I still desired stronger friendships. I did have my best friend and confidant, Ruben, yet I longed for close female relationships. In Lima, this is not an easy task.
Girls in Lima tend to be more quiet, reserved, and protected by family. They do not go out often with groups of friends especially at night. A lack of common interests made it difficult to converse and have a deep frienship or even a superficial one.
The time came when god directed me back to my "home" country to yet again start a new life...
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